These tips will help us let go of perfectionism and reach our goals with ease!
Ever since school, women have been brought up to be better, harder-working and more accomplished in order to succeed. And so they often labour under the illusion that their performance speaks for itself and will bear real fruit. The realisation comes late. I call on women to be imperfect!
Goodbye, perfectionism! Away with the "long list"!
How often I have heard this line: "I still have to take that training course, then I will be able to reach my goal." You can replace "that training course" with "finish the presentation", "build that website", "think that offer through", "brush up my knowledge" or "go to the hairdresser".
The "I still have to..." list is a long one. We women apparently need several years to grasp that losing five kilos, taking an extra course or earning another certificate has little or no bearing on whether we reach our goals.
I have been through it myself, and it was painful enough. Because, like most women, I was one of those with a list of what had to be owned, done, managed, bought, and then.........
The perfectionism trap: 80% is often enough
An example from a client's life:
"I have been self-employed for a long time; before that I worked in the car industry. There it is pure perfection. That is where I learned the principle 'not the slightest mistake is allowed'. When my first son was born I had to change what I did, because I did not want a career break or a side job I would have had to be grateful for, rushing from one meeting to the next while still finding time for my son. A lot of stress for a small salary. I started an online business. And of course I wanted to do it at the very highest level. For my online business, for example, the videos were always shot in a studio, which cost both money and time. It seemed to me that I had to do everything professionally. And then I found out that videos shot on a smartphone are just as successful and bring in just as many sales."
"I spent hours fiddling with the design of my website, and then realised that this is not what drives sales."
"I kept reworking and adding to my talks over and over again, just to be sure that the subject itself was good enough."
We are also pushed towards perfectionism by the fact that on the labour market, especially in business, men are considered the better employees.
"It is imperfection that helps us grow."
We all have to admit that being a workaholic with flawless marks is no guarantee of success. Quite the opposite. It is imperfection that moves us forward. We should realise that and accept it! Men show us how by example. They simply take a product and declare it the best on the market. What is more, they agree to a higher position even when they know themselves that they meet only 50% of what it requires. Because they are firmly convinced that they have the potential for the remaining 50%.
3 ways to cut down on perfectionism
1. Down with the old conventions
In other words, do not let anyone tell you that performance speaks for itself, or that your hard work and good marks will move you forward in the end anyway. Because at the latest when the first men drive past you (men who work less hard and have poorer marks), you will see that this is not what it is about. Try applying the minimum principle and take on your next task - be it a talk, a presentation, a meeting or a commercial offer - with minimal effort. That, too, is something you can get used to.
2. Take criticism only from people who play in your arena
A principle I find extremely important. Take the video example: the first critic soon turned up and told the client that she would not attract customers with an unprofessionally shot video. She asked him (later on, once she had realised that this was not the point) whether he had ever shot a video himself or sold anything through video, and he said no. If someone does not play in your arena and merely says what he thinks is right without ever having done it himself, do not listen to such people. But do listen closely to people who work in your field and have come further along the road than you.
3. Accept the challenge first, and only then think about how you will meet it.
Say "yes" to an offer - to take over the running of a department, for instance. Most women need time to think it over, because they like to flog themselves for a few days to convince themselves that they are not ready yet. Growth, however, happens outside the comfort zone. So say yes first, and work out how you are going to do it afterwards.
Reaching your goals: the key to success is simply doing it!
We are giants of knowledge, but dwarfs when it comes to putting it into practice
Push yourself a little, even if you do not yet know how to approach the task. As soon as you focus on it, you will find the right solution.
