There is a magnificent scene in the film "Whiplash" (2014) that shows Sleight of Mouth at work in everyday "hard-nosed negotiation". What is interesting is that in some families digs are not the exception but the ordinary way of talking to one another.
We all need to communicate. But sometimes it is so hard to build a positive, constructive dialogue. Most of us have never been taught this on purpose, so here I shall try to give a little information about what is needed for you to come away from a conversation feeling that you managed to get across what mattered to you, and that you were heard and understood correctly. A little hard going, then, but important!
We often have to haggle. To divide something up. To agree something. In a shop, in the family and in relationships, at work. When two interdependent parties resolve a conflict in order to improve their own position, when they give ground together, try things out and look for a solution - that is a negotiation. What lies at the heart of negotiation? When is there no point in trying to reach an agreement? And when does it make sense to manipulate?
Where does any speech, flirtation, conversation or suggestion begin? It begins when the other person - the manager, the boyfriend, the girlfriend, the audience, the man - finds out that you exist and focuses their attention on you. It sounds obvious, but there is no point talking to a hall that is staring at its smartphones out of boredom. How do you get someone's attention?
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