"A woman's strong feelings. The beauty of showing them to a man and the depth of what she lives through. An inner dialogue.
When a woman shows her emotions vividly, what usually lies underneath is the need to declare herself loudly and clearly — her feelings, her rights, her boundaries, her unrecognised and unmet needs.
She is saying to him:
Hear me, I feel awful, you don't notice me.
I want closeness so badly, and love, and acceptance.
Open your heart to me, my beloved man!.
I'm tired of living with a man who is emotionally unavailable, who doesn't understand me, who never guesses what I want.
I am unique!.
I am the only one! .
I am beautiful, sexual and desirable!
Give me some recognition of that!
And at the same time. I want to be picked up like a child — by my mum, by my dad, and I'm calling out to you: take pity on me.
( In hysterics there can be double messages, and a man may get lost here: who is she right now, a grown woman or a whining child).
I'm tired of fighting , inside I am weak, vulnerable, fragile, tender, delicate.
Take me as I am, don't remake me, feel for me, share with me my distress, my helplessness, my powerlessness, disappointment,fear, insecurity.
Please don't argue, not right now at least, don't square up to me.
Don't be my fucking damn adviser right now, or mentor, or trainer,or coach, don't tell me what I OUGHT to do .
I ask you, I BEG you, be a soul, be — right now — a human being, a friend , a partner, a man, a mother, a father, a god...
Give me everything I didn't get from my mother in childhood ...She never gave me acceptance or love. So you will give me all of it!
Don't worry, it will pass, it isn't forever, I've already found myself a therapist, she is a wonderful woman
Please be my banks right now, hard and steady as a rock , like the Yang dynasty.
The raging river of a woman's Yin hysterics is looking for something to lean on in you, a rock in the sea....
Yes, that is exactly what she needed.. for the "rock" to hold her...
And this is not an "attack" on the rock, it is simply a storm, a force of nature..
That is how the laws of nature work..
I am not satisfied .and haven't been for a long time. the tension has built up and now it is spilling over..
As a rule, a psychologically grown-up man, a "rock", can withstand a woman's "wave" of high-amplitude feeling.It may be frightening in places, not very pleasant, unsettling, and at the same time it can be a rather arousing sight, and a moving one. Either way he keeps the steady position of a "mountain" a woman can lean on. Because if you decipher this passionate emotional message, at bottom it is a plea for closeness, for the love and acceptance she lacks.
A man who hasn't grown up psychologically may take fright, dismiss her, stick a label on her, call her a bitch, call her nasty, call her hysterical, and run off to find himself a quiet, calm woman, a caring mother 100% of the time, with whom life will be safe ,.. peaceful....,, but SUFFOCATINGLY dull and, in time, not sexual at all ..
P.S.
It certainly wouldn't hurt for both of them to go to therapy, individual as well as couples work
For the woman — to learn to lean not only on a man but also on herself , and for the man — to learn the manhood of bearing, coping, standing the heat of passion , and going on loving.
