‘They have asked me to come in to work — could you please look after my daughter? Yours will have more fun that way,’ your friend asks. And you had been counting on finally getting some rest that day. But you do not want to let your friend down either — she helps you out sometimes too.
Sadly, I hear this question with enviable regularity, in all sorts of shapes and forms. Sometimes it is that it would be nice to set up a dating agency for people who have been through therapy, for ‘non-neurotics’; sometimes it is how to protect yourself from so-called ‘arseholes’; sometimes it is complaints that there are so many of them... And when yesterday yet another client asked me in conversation how you can spot a neurotic so as not to date one, I realised the article was overdue.
You know what people say about Freud: everything is run by the unconscious, and the unconscious is run by sex. Back then, in the Victorian, puritan, sex-free age, Freud had little information to go on. But if he were alive today, Freud would know everything. In this article I will lay out the statistics on what our unconscious dreams about in Ukraine, Russia and Belarus. We will gossip about the "dirty" Europeans in Belgium and Austria. And most importantly: what do the ideal women in these countries look like?
Everyone needs a place where they feel safe, secure and welcome. Everyone longs for a place where they can relax and be themselves. Ideally that place is the parental home you grew up in. Where you felt accepted and loved by your parents. From childhood we take in this feeling of being accepted and welcome as a fundamentally positive attitude to life, one that stays with us as adults as well. We have confidence in ourselves and we are able to trust other people. This is also called basic trust.
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