This article is about how to find what is stopping you from moving on and reaching your goals, and what to do about it.
Bringing any idea or project to life, even building a relationship, goes through stages that are the same for everyone. Or steps.
We know about the five stages of accepting ( the inevitable ) , about the Hero's Journey , the monomyth as an algorithm common to all people for any life transformation; there is the Dunning-Kruger effect with its stages; and there is a classification of typical obstacles, the inner blocks that anyone who would like to do something new, or has already decided to, has to overcome. All these models have something in common: they objectively exist, they are described in different ways, but in essence they are all about the human brain. Inert, cowardly and lazy. So how exactly does our brain get lazy and afraid?
That is what this excerpt from an article in "ProCoaching" magazine is about.
Gremlins are those little creatures that turn up in our thoughts and keep telling us "you won't manage it!, you can't cope! Have you forgotten what country you live in?".
In essence, these are our inner objections. And the more of them there are, the harder it is for us to take the next step towards our goal, and the first step especially.
gremlin
Every one of us has gremlins, and that is normal. The main thing is not to let them grow so large that any movement towards something new becomes impossible, that motivation drops and every activity is blocked.
The very first and simplest step in dealing with gremlins is to spot one and put it on paper, that is, to write it down.
Write it down so that you can see: it and you are not one and the same; it is merely your inner objection.
A gremlin is not actuality, not objective reality; it is merely an objection. It exists, but it has no effect either on your attitude towards your goal or on other people's attitude towards you. It is on its own. You are on your own.
If you keep doing this for a certain period of time, then, first, you will get to know all of your inner objections and, second, you will stop perceiving them as something that limits you.
Second. Cartesian questions work very well with gremlins: they help to turn the situation onto a new, positive track.
And now the third point.
Classical coaching distinguishes 4 kinds of gremlins.
And each of them has its own magic questions:
The first gremlin is the fear of dreaming.
This is when you cannot picture the image of the future you want, cannot give a clear answer to the question "What do I want?":
And if you could see, even for a minute, the image of the goal you want, what would it look like?
Who do you become if you take the first step, however small? What will that step be?
The second gremlin is identifying yourself with the victim.
This is when you are dismayed by the difficulty and the sheer number of the actions ahead: "I will never cope, a person like me cannot handle a task like this":
Are you absolutely sure that this is true?
What might you be missing when you think that way?
What kind of person would have handled a task like this? How would they have gone about it?
The third gremlin is identifying with the conflict.
This is when you yourself are not ready to see things through, when you are constantly dissatisfied with your results and not ready to accept success once the goal is reached:
Who do you become when you complete this project (this task)?
What even greater opportunities open up for you when the project is finished?
And the fourth gremlin is identifying with the system.
This is when you do not believe that you can get the people around you involved in reaching your goal, when you think that the culture of your environment (your family, your company, your country) is too weak for goals like these.
And if you could do anything you wanted, how would you go about it?
What else can you influence in this situation? Write a list of the things you have influence over.
Now you have everything you need to "thin out" your gremlins. The main thing is to keep hunting them down without mercy!
"ProCoaching" magazine
