I can no longer remember when I first came across this method. It was many years ago, and over the years it has grown the small tricks and refinements I added while working both with patients and on my own blocks. In any case, my huge thanks to all the authors of publications on the subject, whose material I used when shaping this method for my own work, which is based on C. G. Jung's method of free association.
The “Decision Triangle” exercise
With this exercise you will not only settle on the deep associations to a concept, an image or a word that matters to you personally, but will be able literally to reprogram your own thinking, to create new neural connections and to overwrite your “mental code”.
You will be able to:
- map your associative links and see the whole picture
- spot “mental viruses” (destructive associations) and change them
- see the essence of the problem and understand the ways it could be solved
- increase your awareness
- use the insights that come up while you work with your associations
What you will need
- a sheet of paper
- a pen, and
- a little free time in a quiet setting
Place the sheet landscape and write the numbers 1 to 16 in a column down the left — this will help you stay focused and not lose your place while doing the exercise.
Step one. Setting the query (what is worrying me most right now)
Formulate and write down, in one word or phrase, the problem, task or question that troubles you and whose solution could improve the quality of your life in the near future.
For example, you simply cannot make a decision and cannot settle on a choice — then take the word “choice”. Or, if problems have come up in your current job, you can use the word “work”.
Before you begin — sit up straight, open your shoulders and take a couple of deep breaths in and out. Focus your attention in the lower belly. Believe me, it works) At the “Freud's Legacy” club we did this exercise after qigong practice and a meditation practice, which improved the results of the work
So, write at the top of the sheet the word you have used to describe your problem/task, and put the date.
Step two and onwards
Look at the word you have written, say it out loud, think about it — about what bearing it has on you personally, and about it as an abstract concept. And now write down the 16 associations that come into your head. Let the resistance go, write down every word. Do not turn anything away, even if a word seems unsuitable to you — if it has surfaced, then it is your association.
Step three
Now join the words in pairs: the first with the second, the third with the fourth, and so on.
The real work begins right here. There are two rules, and the first is being sincere with yourself. The more honest you are with yourself, the more productive and vivid the effect you will get at the end. The second rule — if some word or concept comes up two or more times during the exercise, be sure to write it down separately at the bottom of the page. I will tell you later what to do with it.
Once the words are joined, start working with each pair separately, without tying it to the main word that matches your query.
For each pair of words write down a shared association – a word, a concept, a definition that unites the pair for you personally. It is your definition and no one else's! And do not forget about honesty and sincerity. Find the shared association that resonates. Think a little, in case it can be put more precisely. Write it down
Use nouns, verbs, adverbs, phrases
A hint
Visualise — picture each word of the pair as an image, mentally step back and look at them from a distance. What unites them? Perhaps they are (or are not) part of something bigger? Perhaps each of these images holds a shared piece, a common part? What image is that? How would you name it in one word?
Listen to the sensations in your body — straighten your back, relax your shoulders, move your attention into the lower belly and into your legs. If visualising does not come easily to you, you can look for the uniting association through sensations: feel what sensations in the body the first word of the pair calls up. And now — what sensations does the second word call up? What do these sensations have in common? What do they bring to mind? Describe it in one word.
When the uniting association for the pair of words has been found, listen to yourself and to the sensations in your body: is this the very word? If it is, we move on.
Step four
You now have eight words. Join them with brackets in pairs again and repeat the same thing as at the third stage. Remember that the words must not repeat (if a word repeats, write it down at the bottom and look for another association). Look for words that are truly yours.
When you are down to four words, repeat the same thing. Pay attention to the sensations in the body and the emotions that come up. Note them the way a detached onlooker would, and carry on with the work.
Now merge the two words you are left with into one.
This last word is your deep association.
Once, when I had finished my favourite exercise, the “Decision Triangle”, the deep association I got was — depression!? An unexpected result! But it made sense — work had begun to bring on depression in me. That was exactly what I was feeling at that point in my life.
And now the main question: what to do with it?
Working with the results.
First and foremost — remember that all these words are only associations. (The depression, in fact, had nothing to do with work) There are no “bad” and “good” words (definitions)
Second — when you have written down the “final” association, ask yourself the question: how do I feel with this association? Am I comfortable with it or not? How does it affect my deeds and actions?
If the word is a “positive” one, it can become a resource: the association and the image that will give you an impulse and give you the strength and the wish to act.
Just looking at the results of the exercise, you will already get a transformational effect – the code will begin to change.
Before we move on to the next stage, let me say a word about the columns themselves (there should be 5 of them, including the final word)
The first (16 words) is the stereotypes and beliefs formed in the course of your upbringing or under the influence of the people and the environment around you.
The second (8 words) is the mental level: subconscious thoughts.
The third (4 words) is the level of emotions. Pay particular attention to the emotional colouring of each of these four words.
The fourth level (2 words) and the final word are the “decision triangle”.
The final word is the deep association, while the pair of words it grew out of can be strategies for resolving the query, or the key questions that have to be answered, or can carry information about a choice that has to be made.
Third — identify the negative associations in each column.
Fourth — write the “creative code”
The more new associations we attach to the word that stands for the query, the more strongly the associative chain launched by that word will change. The brighter the positive images and the more pleasant they are for us (including in the body — goosebumps, tingling, a sense of freedom in the shoulders and so on), the stronger the “overwriting” effect will be.
You can simply cross out the negative words and replace them with positive ones.
The effect will be stronger if you find the “turning points” on our map (the first negative words in a horizontal chain), replace them with positive ones and derive new uniting associations, right up to replacing the final word.
Fifth — pay attention to the inspiring “positive” words
For all their positivity, these words can sound limiting for you in particular, or in this particular situation. What I mean is this: say you worked with the query “money” and ended up with the word “achievements” and the feeling that yes, for you getting money is recognition of achievements, and achievements bring income… But how else can money come to you? Are you not missing out on money as gifts, finds, winnings and other ways?
Sixth — be sure to capture the positive associations. With a bright collage or a drawing, for example. Make a “Success Map”, even! On top of everything else, making a collage on the theme of the positive associations you have found is guaranteed to add insights on the theme of your query. If it suits you better, write a story on the subject. The main thing is — act!
A tip: do not throw away the sheet with the 31 word-associations. You have already put a date on it and done the “Decision Triangle”; do the same thing again with the same word (concept, query) in two or three months. That way you will be able to track the changes taking place in you
PS If a word repeats twice or more among the associations
When a word repeats, it means that the neural connections and associations have a direct influence on how the query word is perceived.
Be sure to do this exercise once more, but this time with the repeated word as the query, and look at the results.
In closing Outlook
Everyone who has taken up the “Decision Triangle” technique on their own and used it regularly has noted significant changes for the better in each of the areas of life they worked on. It is one of my clients' favourite exercises too.
Of course, doing this technique together with a “Stalker” is more interesting and more effective — because he stays independent, will note your reactions and will be able to ask the “right questions”. On top of that, it is easier to get into a resourceful state with a specialist.
With the “Decision Triangle” you will not only get around mental blocks and be able to release bodily blocks (gently and without harm), but will also be able to focus on solving your problem and (at last) take the steps you need to take!
It is worth repeating that for me the “Decision Triangle” has become a reliable tool both in self-development and in practical work.
Change your thinking, unfold your potential and, above all, act!
Take care and stay healthy!
See you at the daily extended qigong practice and at the “Freud's Legacy” club
