Never say never. Dating story no. 23

- "We'll find you a James Bond!" I promised Nina light-heartedly. "He'll be a star, handsome and the best at everything. Once you fall for him, you'll be running after him at a gallop..."

I have a little "vice": I like to describe personality types in more vivid images. For example, instead of my own personality type, which the author of the S-Theory called schizoid, I say "Dr House", and instead of the narcissistic one, which was supposed to harmonise Nina perfectly, I say "James Bond". Let me say straight away that although the original names are taken from a classification of disorders, the typology works with perfectly healthy people and their characters.

Once you know the personality types of the two people in a couple, you can predict fairly precisely how the relationship will develop, what the partners can "enrich" each other with and what will drive each other mad. The catch here is that the words "James Bond" set off different associations in everyone. What I had in mind was a character with a drive to be the best, to be liked and to make an impression; what Nina pictured was a young Sean Connery in a hat that was fashionable half a century ago, throwing it from the doorway onto the coat stand and catching the hook first time.

Nina was cast as Moneypenny. Although in looks Moneypenny was a long way behind Nina. A statuesque blonde with full, pouting lips, a snub nose and coquettish freckles, who seemed to have absolutely no idea how attractive she really was. Nina worked as a nurse at the district clinic; she was very nearly the only one who always remembered, without having to look it up, exactly what each patient was supposed to take, and yet she kept all her notes and card indexes with a manic fanaticism, insisted pedantically that every rule be followed, and somehow managed to find a way in with every patient, even the most difficult. The pensioners simply worshipped Nina, while her colleagues shamelessly dumped their own work on her. And with the same stubbornness with which Nina drove every task to an ideal unthinkable and unattainable for ordinary mortals, Nina answered:

- "Running after men is the one thing I shall certainly never do!"

- "Never say never. Some of them, rarely, but they are worth it."

- "Let other women do the running!" Nina shrugged.

- "I have found you the Moneypenny I promised," I told Vlad the same day. "Her name is Nina."

- "Great," Vlad snorted, "and why not Octopussy?"

- "So that she doesn't cut off your oxygen," I shot back. Octopussy is the heroine of one of the Bond films, very influential and rich, whom James naturally manages to seduce, but only for one film. "And anyway, Octopussy is for one time only, while Moneypenny is eternal love."

- "Is that you trying to frighten me?" Vlad joked back.

- "That is me reminding you that we are a Dating Club for serious relationships. This is not for one episode of the Bond series, but, preferably, for the whole cycle."

Vlad rang Nina and arranged to meet in a cafe not far from her workplace. He had planned the day so as to get as many errands as possible done in that district at once, withdrew some cash from a cash machine just in case, and... The old people say: man proposes, God disposes. The racing cyclist who slammed into him at full speed was exactly the kind of chaos factor no human being is able to foresee. Vlad's face was cut up and his left arm was aching oddly; the cyclist could barely stand. Cursing everything under the sun to himself, Vlad called an ambulance, which took them both to the nearest hospital. The cyclist was carried off lying down, with suspected internal bleeding. Vlad announced that he had no intention of lying down, he just needed his face cleaned up.

Nina was especially "fond" of patients like that: they turn up right at the end of the shift, they know best themselves, they grumble and criticise loudly and, for all their own hurry, only slow the process down. On top of all his "sins", this "pest" turned out to be devilishly charming as well, with a completely childish awe of hydrogen peroxide — it is going to sting, after all.

- "Miss, do be quick about it, please! I have an important meeting!"

- "You still have to wait for the X-ray of your wrist, what if it is broken..."

- "Let's just say it isn't broken! I really do have to be somewhere in an hour!"

- "Don't worry, so do I, but first I have to get you sorted out!" The moment the patient opened his mouth to object, Nina deftly began dabbing his forehead with peroxide. The patient froze and seemed to stop breathing altogether. He only started breathing again when she took the cotton wool away.

- "You could give me some warning!"

- "Don't be such a baby!"

- "But it stings!"

- "And a good thing too! It means the germs are dying in there!"

- "Oh really..." the patient muttered, and then looked at his phone again. "I seriously have to run, however intriguing it is here with you!"

Instead of answering, Nina looked out of the door. Luckily, her colleague was already on her way to them, and a minute later Nina was able to give the patient the good news that all the bones were intact and a pulled tendon was the worst of it. She wrapped his wrist in an elastic bandage, showed him with a clear conscience where to collect his papers and get a referral for a follow-up, and then dashed off to change. She disliked being late — loathed it, one might even say, especially when she was meeting someone for the first time. She flew out of the hospital without looking around at all, very nearly falling off the heels she had brought along for the occasion. The bus, as luck would have it, was already standing smugly at the stop. Nina broke into a run after it. She would certainly have missed it if somebody had not held the doors for her. Nina was catching her breath with noisy relief until the man who had held the doors spoke. To her astonishment, it was that very same handsome patient.

- "Have you forgotten something else for me to disinfect?"

- "No, I am simply late for a da... For a meeting."

- "A date is always a good thing," Vlad smiled. "I hope you make it!"

- "And I hope you make it to wherever you were in such a hurry to get to..."

A pity the date is not with him, Nina thought. All the same, they both got off at the same stop and then walked in the same direction together, glancing at each other in surprise. At the entrance to "The Englishman" the patient gallantly let the young woman go first, holding the door for her.

- "Good evening, I have a table booked in the name of Vlad Romanov..." Nina said, holding back her nerves and the tremor in her voice.

- "Ha! It can't be!" her last patient exclaimed cheerfully behind her. "Nina?"

The evening went rather pleasantly, considering how they had met. And on the way to the metro, with Vlad walking beside her, Nina realised that she had never met a man like this before. Vlad was not simply a James Bond, he was a star; you wanted to look at him and never take your eyes off him. He was charisma and drive incarnate, clever and quick-witted, handsome and with a wonderful sense of humour. Nina simply could not stop thinking about him. From that moment on her logical, orderly world could never be the same again. And the very thing happened that Nina had always condemned in others and dreaded finding in herself: she really was ready to run after Vlad to the bitter end.

- "When are we next going for coffee?" she smiled nervously.

- "However the cards fall... I have several night shifts coming up."

- "We could meet before a shift..." Nina suggested, and blushed deeply.

- "We could," Vlad agreed magnanimously.

From then on Nina prepared for these meetings more carefully than for anything else. The perfect outfit was planned at least a day in advance. Planning topics of conversation was pointless, but she planned them anyway. All her thoughts and daydreams in her free time were about him as well. In secret from everybody, blushing furiously and stammering, Nina even bought a book called "How to Win a Man", which she shyly wrapped in newspaper so that nobody on the metro would guess what she was reading.

And naturally, every date went off plan. Vlad was bright, bold and independent. The most unexpected people recognised him in the street and in restaurants, he was given discounts and looked at with delight. Vlad basked in this general admiration and would take Nina by the arm theatrically, so that a little of it would rub off on her too. He had his own settled way of life, his own habits and routines. There seemed to be no room in them for a woman, but somehow Vlad found that room. Sometimes it seemed to Nina that she was part of his new image: a real man's life should include a family or, at the very least, a beautiful and loving woman. And Nina saw in that her chance to win him.

Vlad clearly loved making an impression, but at times he lacked... not depth exactly, more like help from outside. And Nina, with all her attention to detail and all the perfectionism she was capable of, began helping him build this new image of a "not-single" man, of the ideal husband. She appeared at his side well-groomed and looking at him with delight. She told all his friends how wonderful he was. She "covered the rear", making him breakfasts and dinners, arranging the perfect little nest, doing everything she could to make it clear that he would never find a more perfect wife. And it bore fruit. The more she praised him, the more attentive he became to her. It was as if for every word of praise about him he wanted to show that he could do better still.

Vlad really did like this new life. By some sixth sense Nina understood what he now wanted, and somehow managed to create it quite imperceptibly. Suddenly he had somewhere to invite friends, knowing that there would be something to offer them. He could talk freely about the perfect holiday he and Nina had taken, catching the envious glances of the women in the company. He could come home to a house filled with the kind of comfort that is unthinkable in a merely bachelor home. And his woman praised him boldly in front of all their acquaintances, his and hers. What many in his circle considered showy, hypocritical and unreal was, in his case, the norm, a completely genuine and tangible reality. And realising that pleased him even more. He had always liked things to come together beautifully, liked being an example of how one can live well easily and without much effort, almost on display. Here I am, I have made it and I am going to go on enjoying it. Applaud, ladies and gentlemen, applaud! The counsellors had told him that a woman like Nina would be able to provide him with that beauty so unobtrusively, but he only believed it now, when he had seen it with his own eyes.

And Nina was warm to be with, too. Her sincere admiration and adoration inspired him every time. Within a month he had become the most welcome guest at Nina's hospital, where every one of the nurses considered it her duty both to treat him to home baking and to praise him for being such a perfect boyfriend. He was well aware that any of them would gladly step over Nina to take her place, but the fact that he was faithful to Nina impressed them all even more.

Vlad was not sure whether he loved Nina, or indeed whether he was capable of love at all. But that was not important either. Love is overrated anyway: too many people pour their own understanding, their own ideas, their own fears and expectations into the word. But love is always visible in its outward signs, and those Vlad could provide without much effort. Besides, he understood that Nina had helped him bring his dreams to life, that Nina, like him, wanted children, and that Nina loved him enough for the two of them. So for his part he did everything he could to be that ideal husband. Because in life everything should come together beautifully — life, after all, is a wonderful thing.