The fear of taking action inside us is very often not a fear of moving forward and growing, but a fear of making a mistake. In sessions with clients, when we look into why a person is not acting, we very often find that they are afraid of doing the wrong thing. And that fear ties them hand and foot, quite literally. So today, taking the fear of action apart, we shall talk about the failures that frighten us so much.
We tend to think that a mistake is something negative, and this belief quite often stops us in our tracks. Let us try today to change that attitude by planting three positive attitudes towards mistakes and failures in our minds.
"The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear"
Nelson Mandela.
Attitude one: you are not the only one who makes mistakes!
The thought that you are the only one who acts wrongly and makes mistakes is one of the most paralysing there is. The fear of taking action convinces us that we are alone in our bad luck, that people who fail are simply born losers. That is not so at all — every single person makes mistakes!
The difference between successful and unsuccessful people is not that one failed and the other did not. That is a delusion. Everyone makes mistakes. What sets successful people apart is that they get past their fears, take risks and learn from their mistakes. This is the human experience. You are far from the only one living through the fear of failure. And you have everything you need to handle that fear.
Attitude two: stop predicting the future!
Even when you do something "perfectly", failure may still find you. I am sure that anyone can now recall a moment when it seemed they were making the soundest, most considered decision of their life — and it all turned out differently. You cannot predict the future. All you can do is make the most rational decision on the information you have at this moment. You cannot control the future and you cannot predict it, so do not let fear stop you from trying. You can say: "And what if I fail?"
But you can just as well say: "And what if I succeed?"
Attitude three: failure is a chance to become an expert!
Try replacing the fear of failure with this attitude: if I did something one way and it did not work, then I must try another way. If that way does not work either, I will try yet another one.
Try a hundred different ways. Try two hundred different ways. By doing things differently you gather an enormous amount of new information in your mind. Instead of being afraid of the action, you become an expert in it.
Failure is a chance to become an expert, not a victim. After all, living through cause and effect is normal, whereas sitting paralysed by the fear of failure is not. Do not let your fear get the better of you — just try something new.
Take action!
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