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Have you ever noticed how strongly culture shapes our perception? Cities hold one set of values, the countryside another, and between neighbouring nationalities the differences are more striking still. Here it is fashionable, and psychologically healthy, to separate from your parents and build everything yourself, whereas among more southern peoples that is all but unthinkable. Or take attitudes to family. The further south you go, the earlier it is held that there is no life without it, for a m

My friend Miroslava — Mira to her friends — had astonished me ever since our university days with her incredible logic and with the uses she found for it. My favourite example: everywhere and always she stressed how independent she was, how she had absolutely no need of men whatsoever, and at the same time she was devoutly certain that every man around was making eyes at her. Well, if not at her, then perhaps at me, however much I denied it. It was rather like counting up the signs of attention

Demand creates supply. And what is it that you, my dear readers, want to hear from counsellors and other relationship experts? You want to hear about the "magic pill", about "5 easy steps", about "how to build a good relationship in 3 months", "how to make a man/woman fall for you" and so on. And of course the market duly dumps a pile of rubbish information on you, just to satisfy your demand. And you nod along, pleased and happy, and gladly hand over your money to be fooled one more time!

Anfisa was always the activist. She was the one who managed to talk our thoroughly apathetic year group into collecting the textbooks at a more convenient hour than our librarians had planned, and to drag most of our fellow students out to a cafe. She talked everyone into joining the student comedy league despite the rumours that it was the shortest road to being expelled, and she was the first to sign up for every optional course, club and field trip going. She was a whirlwind, a chaos packed into one single person.