Is there such a thing as the ideal partner? Not the perfect one, but the one with whom being in a relationship, living and enjoying life would be easy, simple and full? Or is every relationship hard work? Or do you think a relationship can be built with anyone at all, as long as you know how, want it and try?
I go along with the view that if you have met a “harmonious” partner, you will not have to work much at the relationship: it happens by itself. Such a meeting can be a gift of life. Or it can simply be a matter of knowledge. So here I will share a hint on how to spot, recognise and see the “harmonious”, the ideal partner.
Is there such a thing as the ideal partner?
... or what can “harmonious” relationships be?
- Someone has said that there is no such thing in human nature, if only because human beings have not learned to live in harmony with themselves. That is true, and yet “harmonious” relationships are possible even between people who are not harmonious.
- Someone has said that relationships violate the boundaries of the personality, and that is so. Everyone has their own codes, their own laws. But it also happens that the “laws” do not contradict each other, that the boundaries run in such a way that people meet on them in a symbiosis. Among other things, because every relationship is an exchange.
- Someone will say that easy, simple and joyful relationships are called friendship. Probably because they seem impossible with the opposite sex. And yet it is exactly this that we all strive for, and we take it for happiness.
- Someone will think it means that everything suits everyone. That really does not happen. But it does happen that what does not suit you is small stuff, and people are harmonious in seeing each other's flaws as small stuff.
In other words, there is such a thing as not having to strain in your private life.
How do you find a harmonious relationship?
- Someone will say you have to pay an “iron price” for it. I am sure that is most often the case: people prefer to learn not from the wisdom of others but from their own experience, uncomfortable as it may be.
- Many are convinced that you have to work at relationships, to build them. And if it is building, then they can always be built, with anyone. Building is always needed, but there are long-drawn-out construction sites and endless “renovation” of a relationship, and there is creation, the realisation of your own or of shared ideas.
- Many will confuse them with an unattainable ideal, a dream. We all dream of them, but if a person is convinced from the outset that they are unattainable, that is exactly how it will be. Hard, difficult and absolute.
- Someone will say that “harmony” is possible with someone who has an interest in it. That is so, and at the same time we all have an interest in it.
An example of the search... from a film
So, how do you find a harmonious partner with whom life is easy, simple and joyful, with whom the relationship does not have to be built because it simply comes about? At Psynema.Club we went through in detail who is harmonious for Yelena Ivanovna Podberezkina, the “unfuckable” heroine of the short film “Tenderness”.
Although Yelena Ivanovna is a candidate for obsessive-compulsive disorder, thanks to the kick from a friend who PUBLICLY called her “unfuckable” she did notice in time that organisation in your career alone does not make you a full-fledged woman. Within a few hours, and through incredible effort, quick wits, determination and willpower (these are qualities that are both the foundation and the problem of the manic personality), Yelena Ivanovna tried out several candidates... without success. Her harmonious partner, though — with him it somehow worked out on its own: he was sitting in the right place at the right time, he agreed quickly, and he imperceptibly helped Yelena Ivanovna out of her neurosis. That is exactly what I call a harmonious partner: no building work, just a relationship. Or almost)
In the short film “Tenderness”, Yelena Ivanovna had a short time in which to find her “fuckability”. In life this story can drag on for years and decades. And all that time it demands an “iron will” of determined people, that is, lost time, lost health, lost opportunities. But you can also ask, and we will answer: where to look for a harmonious partner, what he does for a living, what his childhood was like, what his hobbies are, what he is afraid of, what he wants, how to deal with him and how not to.
