What the depressive type should strengthen
This is not a list of flaws — the strengths of the type are already there. What follows is what it usually lacks, and what can be built up with practice.
In short: a positive outlook on life · choosing for yourself whose opinion matters · taking off the mask of sainthood and martyrdom · healthy self-interest, caring for yourself · the world is not black and white · not taking the blame for other people's suffering
A positive outlook on life. Not optimism out of habit, but a considered admission that life can be joyful even while it is not free of suffering. The key thought: life and suffering are not bound together by necessity, and happiness is possible without a never-ending struggle.
Choosing for yourself whose opinion matters. Pressure from society and from those closest to you breeds a feeling of inadequacy. Deciding whose opinion carries weight and whose does not is a way to put down the burden of other people's judgment and come back to your own wishes. The phrase to lean on: “I am not so bad after all.”
Taking off the mask of sainthood and martyrdom. Striving to appear perfect and sacrificing yourself for others leads to emotional burnout. The mask here is a trap, not a virtue.
Healthy self-interest, caring for yourself. Caring for yourself is not shameful but necessary. Doing something for yourself and for your own sake is an expression of self-love, and without it a full life does not come about.
The world is not black and white. Between the extremes lie a great many shades. Recognising how many-sided things are removes the duty to be forever “rescuing” and “changing” reality and gives back the ability to enjoy simple things.
Not taking the blame for other people's suffering. Everyone answers for their own feelings. Becoming aware of this sets you free: the chronic guilt goes, and the level of stress drops noticeably.
