Compatibility of a choleric man and a choleric woman
Compatibility
The same goes for a phlegmatic man and a phlegmatic woman
Complete nonsense. There is a common misconception that for a perfect relationship people have to be alike. And that this supposedly gives them complete mutual understanding, agreement and harmony. In reality, of course, it does not work that way.
More precisely, it is an echo of a first love that never worked out. Remember your teenage years, when you so badly wanted to fall in love with somebody, anybody? And the first rejection, the first agony and grief of loss, with the cries of ‘I will never meet anyone like him (her) again’? After that you want to meet the person who is ‘JUST LIKE ME’.
And of course you have almost certainly had a relationship like that in your early youth. Or you dreamt of one. In reality, though, stagnation sets in very quickly: how long can you go on talking to yourself? Conflicts arrive just as fast, because both of them — the choleric man and the choleric woman — have the same ambitions, the same behaviour in a quarrel, the same strategies. And so no way out is found, the conflicts never end, and nothing ever develops.
No — if that is what you think, you are better off either talking to a counsellor or picking a different combination below
Who is the CHOLERIC?
- Introvert
- Active life position
- Knows everything, can do everything, will achieve it all on her own
Who is the PHLEGMATIC?
- Introvert
- Passive life position
- Go-getting, driven, the cleverest one in the room
p.s.: Want to know your own temperament?
☛ Take the test right here and find out your attitude, life position, temperament, Ego type and personality type
☑ Find out which partners you are compatible with — and get the full breakdown of why
♫ Read stories of how couples met ♡ with commentary and examples from films
What are the prospects?
Marital happiness: zero!
The compatibility of one active introvert with another introvert ends in:
- a knife fight, if both the man and the woman are cholerics
- the silent treatment, if they are phlegmatics
Introverts already know everything about themselves; what they need is to explore the world around them. When two active conquerors come together, about all they can do is strike a deal and divide up the territory. And stay out of each other's way.
When two passive ‘sticklers for the rules’ meet, they will simply ignore each other
Sexual compatibility: zero!
Children sometimes mistake grown-up sex for freestyle wrestling. And when two wrestlers meet in the ring, the only winners are the spectators.
If two passive, by-the-book people get together, at best they will read the Kama Sutra together and discuss it.
Any more questions?
Growth and prosperity: zero!
How are two competitors — active explorers bent on expansion — supposed to grow their capital? You probably know the answer: divide up the spheres of influence and go in for what economists call ‘collusion’. But is that really what a relationship is about?
For children: zero!
Not just zero — an absolute zero! Up to the age of about 4 to 7 a child needs its mother close at hand. A choleric woman, meanwhile, is drawn out into society, towards getting projects done. Nor will you keep a choleric man at home. On the subject of children this is a complete fiasco.
And if it is two phlegmatics, picture two teachers, each trying to show the child how to solve one and the same problem by a different method, and arguing with each other on top of that about which method is the more correct one.
Not quite you? Pick a different temperament!
Relationships by personality type: an overview
Sanguine women come in 3 personality types:
- In the antisocial sphere — the hysteroid personality type
- In the social sphere — the narcissistic type, and
- In the extra-social sphere — the frustrating personality type
Phlegmatic men likewise come in three types:
- In the antisocial sphere — the autistic personality type
- In the social sphere — the compulsive type, and
- In the extra-social sphere — the paranoid personality type
Three scenarios for this couple
Cholerics come in three personality types:
- the psychopathic personality type
- the manic type
- the schizoid personality type
Essentially these are what we call ‘dynamics’ — a style of behaviour that in sanguines changes over the course of the day depending on the circumstances.
On a scale from 5 (perfect) to 1 (a complete fail), their relationship will look something like this:
See the example from a film below
1Read the analysis
‘Utter nonsense’ relationships
When two cholerics of different personality types meet, a certain mutual understanding arises between them — but so does competition for the resources they both intend to conquer. The result is a competitive couple permanently at war. Unless they come to terms. If we are talking about two phlegmatics, they will come to terms straight away — and go their separate ways.
‘Utter nonsense’ relationships
In the films of the Avengers universe there are the characters Gamora and Nebula — two introvert sisters. Both are set on being the first, and so they are permanently at odds. A drive that comes from the very depths of temperament is extremely hard to overcome in real life. A wonderful metaphor for the relationship between a choleric man and a choleric woman!
